Archive for December, 2006

Wigglin

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

Birdw0rds blogmap 6
Having driven a good 2700 miles or so around Blighty (and flew a coupla thousand more back to Yankland), I’ve finally stopped. That olde map’s looking a bit wiggly, innit. Had a swing through Saaarphampton and Sussex before doing battle with the fog-engulfed southeast. The would-be-holidaying thousands were stuck in tents outside Heathrow terminals and it was Good Luck driving in to attempt to park and meet someone flying in. Hence, a long trawl out far west of Lahndahhn, a limping train or two in, and the Fleecie One was finally met after two hours of her shuffling through immigration and the customs hall. Think that the journey there and back took longer than the flight from the US did. Could have been a fat lot worse of course – just go and talk with those that were trying to get out of Heathrow about their two or three days jammed in the crush.

After another cross of the cun’ree, we spent Chrimbo itself with the rents in Clovelly, that quintessentially Ingerlisch, cobbled village perched on the north Devon cliffs. Didn’t really have enough time (or daylight) to get reaquainted with the chunk of southwest coast path that’s there, but we at least got our boots scuffed. Hartland Point and its lighthouse in particular looks nice n’ moody in the December mists. And the local cats are sluts. After a coupla days we had another long drive back east, via a quick sniff at the Stone Hedge, before being shoved into the cramped meal toob back stateside.

Gone on holiday by mistake

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Birdw0rds blogmap 5

Flapping around so much since the wickend that I’ve not had time to mop up any birdropping wordages here since.

Having been peeced on constantly south, north, northeast, and northwest forrah week, Quaz and I had a Delightful Weekend In The Country, shined on by the sun with mysterious frequency. Crow Crag looks a little different when yer not wading through the oomska or fighting the horizontal drizzle. The days be short up north this time of year, mind, so our jaunts around Haweswater, phone boxes, and bull gates had to be crammed into the available light. As attested by Quaz’s coins being spat out obnoxiously, the phone is reassuringly broken. It’s not our fault if the system doesn’t work.

Being idiots on a pointless mission, we sped south on Sunday to seek out cake shop chemists and bollocks to the wellingtons pubs in Stoney, before stumbling on to the airport that is Milton Keynes station to play the roulette that is the Sunday train schedule. This in order to nab a mere few minutes in Lahndahn where we had the potential to miss out Monday, but come up smiling on Tuesday morning. On the way to Withnail Stop the Last, the Mother Black Cap in Notting Hill (now shut down and ready to be sold and converted yet again, mere months after its latest reincarnation), Shoozie Shooz and James spied us at Edgware Road toob. Tiff found us in our rapidly-relocated locale a while later. Hence a pause and a wag of chins before the second yo back north to the east midlands where we counted our half dead pods before collapse.

Brizzle was next, via a bit of a sluggish limp on the roads inbetween, to be welcomed into the domestic bliss that is Norty and Bingo Land. Having by now entered a state of constant motion and flux, we took off for Brizzle Temple Meads station almost immediately, via a quick stroke of snotty Victoria’s mullet, a noseful of stationsushi, and witnessing the traditional Saarh Headlesschicken Isthistherighttrain Dance. I arrived in Cardiff with strange, wriggling blonde hairs stuck to my Velcro.

A large, fezless, living-cartoon, festerisch Welshman allowed us to stick objects to his magnetic spam in exchange for Guinness. The electric shock therapy may not have “cured” all of his personality to the satisfaction of the good doctor with the electrodes, but the resulting charged forehead makes for cheap, but satisfying, entertainment. Given that, yet again, the train timetable meant we were having to leave a few minutes before we’d arrived, it was another short stop before back to the station via Mr. Davies’ favourite health food shop. Worth the price of admission though this jolly into whuhh whuhh Wales, and the Desperate Hungry Shopper at Mr. Fat Bastad moment will live long in the giggle muscles. It’s rare that one can’t actually take a photograph properly due to the simultaneous and violent shaking of one’s diaphragm.

Ower Saarh couldn’t be persuaded Not To Be Sensible on a whim so I proceeded southwest to Plymouth the next morning on me todd once I’d captured some podcastic sonic nuggets of her thexy listhp. Relatively easy driving on the clear em five got me in good speed down to the Hoe and university. Time enough for a nebb around the waterfront before dark plus early the next morning. England looking oddly tropical in the cold, clear dusk. And then amazingly bright and look-at-me showoffy in the morn. I’d forgotten how pleasing the Plymouth Sound can be in the right light, spread out at the feet of both you and Drake in the shadow of the stripy lighthouse. (Smar’ n’all to have been at the other, yankside Plymouth with its replica Mayflower not that long ago.) I have a soft spot (somewhere near the ankle) for Plymouth since during the long Southwest Coast Path trudge, Fulleasy and I stopped there for a couple of days to recuperate from the weeks of walking. Second big city after Newquay on the route and the first time we took a proper break. The air is clean and light right off the Hoe; my association with that stretch of coast and the rather splend weather cleansed the travel-weary brain case.

Hampshire and Sussex next stops and then I might actually stop moving for a day.

Walls, not balls

Friday, December 15th, 2006


A hop in and out of Newkie University (I can recommend a ride in the Devonshire Building lifts) sandwiched between dips into the Toon. Was splend to see Brend both for an evening stroll along and over the Tyne and up and down the castle steps; and then a quick dash through the streets of central Newcastle the next afternoon. Although an hour was sucked away by cute-but-vacant waitresses who took exception to someone’s Doug Ellis affiliations.

     

Dodging the drizzle, I got a quick glimpse and sonic description of flickr walls and holes before having to follow a more ancient wall back westwards.

Soggage

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

Birdw0rds blogmap 3

The world today was viewed through a curtain of drizzle. Northwest keeping up its cliche. Headed east from Lancaster to nibble at the feet of the Dales and North Yorks Moors. Amazing how much of the cun ree is under water. Rivers spilling over and spreading their girth to create impromtu lakes much of the way. The long term effects of planting too many sheep over the years on them there hills, me thinks.

I stuck my lens through the precipitation briefly to snap the castle at Hornby. Might not be that impressive compared to some of the grander or more interesting castles in the region, but it had imposing broodiness through the swirling mists.

Have made it over the Tyne in the Toon.

Balls, balls, beauty, and balti in Blighty

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

Birdw0rd blogmap 2

Bit of a rollacoasting last coupla daze.

Started with a good, honest, grey, windy drizzle in LDZZZZ – proper weather, innit. Just getting on with what it’s designed to do: making everyone damp and grey and miserable. (Uncle Mort, anyone?) Spent a while in the olde haunts of the university and the city before heading south to Sheffield. Joolz & TT generously braved the South Yorks cool to wander a little around their adopted city after a caffeine charge at the Showroom. We saw balls. We talked balls.

Sheffield Ball Joolz & TT hairy n baldy

Upon departure from Steelville, I wisely decided to deposit my wallet on the floor of an NCP car park next to the station, discovering the fact late doors having waded through the em one traffic sludge to Nottingham, home of men in tight green leggings. I virtually took the axels off of the car looking for it before giving up the chase.  And then relaxing by trying to cancel credit cards back in Yankland via very ropey mobile phone connections, and hastily calculating just how far of the rest of the trip could still be realistic with what blightymoolah I’d stuffed into my special moolahsock.  Early the next morning, I rang a kind woman in the lost property office (thanks for info. Dr. J!) of Sheffield station who passed on a number of the Good People That Man the NCP Car Park. Amazingly, a parking regular had picked up said wallet and handed it in to said GPTMtNCPCP who kept it safely awaiting my rearrival. Hence a rapidly rearranged Next Leg and a return to Sheffield to heavily tip the parking attendants and generally weep at passing strangers’ feets. My undying gratitude to The Unknown Parker! Luckily I was able to reschedule my Nottm meeting to prevent me having to yo-yo the motorwayward one more time.

Damp

I wended a soggy moortop way westwards, did battle with the ever-entertaining M6, and birdw0rked into Lancaster in the bluster. I have finally found time to eat a proper meal while relatively stationary, ordered from the Bombay Balti house on China Street; an establishment I encourage any fellow travelers to call into simply to converse with the heartwarmer of a somewhat-frazzled hostess, armed with a gentle, curvy West Country accent, as she be, and who exudes a Good People vibe that is rare as it is, liked the thali, edible.

Rain and dole and tea

Monday, December 11th, 2006

map 1
The dementoid crisscross yo-yo Blighty birdhop begins.

Ingerlund demonstrated its Ingerlischness with permadrizzle and bowelclogged traffic congestion during the long haul norph today; crabbing sideways along and then up from the saaaaph coast; meander through the shires; a coquettish skirt around Oxford; a stop off in the Land of the Concrete Cow for whuhh whuhh work at the OU; a Quazmeet in the ooarrural 5 Bellenders pub in Buggerbrooke; and onwards and upwards to Yarkshuhh, surfing the vehicular sludge that is the em one.

There was a time when place names like Yardly Gobion, Fosters Booth, and Nether Hayford didn’t sound just a bit oddler to me. I mean. Yardly Gobion!

The people seem twitchy and awkward on the streets and in the shops of the homeland. Are they all near-Chrimbo stressed or summat? I don’t remember being randomly walked in to by so many stumbling, periferalvisionnotworking strangers (some very strange) during recent visits. And the roads seem forever crammed with steaming cars and lorries; more so than ever. Maybe it’s driving on the cruise-controlled, feet-up-on-the-dashboard-reading-a-book midwestern drives I’ve done in Yankland that serves the contrast? Seems more crowded than ever regardless of chosen route.

Leeds is delicately lit, at least…

Two things derived from listening to in-car radio today: (i) I would happily paraphrase/nick the poetic version of the following phrase to make the more relevant-to-birdw0rks “songs are never finished, only abandoned”. How true is that? (Is this a rhetorical question?) (ii) I’ve again been reminded to seek out and read “Against Nature”, a book that appears in Marwood’s briefcase towards the end of Withnail & I before he abandons Mr. W. to whatever drunken, liver-failed fate awaits him.

Rubber Rings

Friday, December 8th, 2006

deadbirds

Sat in a twitchy-traveler-filled departure lounge with a bit of new Banco in me ears. There’s a dodgy-looking bloke across the way doing some very odd things with a floppy stuffed toy. Agitated…Given the way he’s frisking it, nay, fisting it, I’m assuming he’s either stashing or has stashed something valuable in it’s nether regions.

Wandering through my ever-swelling mp3 stash plucking out some travel tunes got me thinking about what makes an album a stayer in the personal musical favourites elite list. Those long-players that we “lay in awe on your bedroom floor” to during our youth rarely stand the test of time as recordings we now regularly cast our lugs at. Certainly warrant keeping around for a nostalgic trip temporarily southwards, but they’re not the drug-like needs they used to be. With age-related taste changes and the fact that most songs and LPs have a finite number of plays in them, personally, I find there are only a select few that have stood the test of fickle sonic time. Good job there’s an infinite supply of new sounds out there, eh? (Not that we tend to have/create the time to seek out new musicians and bands like we use to; I remember the days of scouring the reviews, salivating through the isles of the many record shops, and setting aside whole afternoons specifically for listening to new records and nowt else. Plus, natch, with the invention of the shuffle toy allowing your to mix and match an infinite selection of tunes from an almost infinite collection, who even regularly listens to full albums these days?)

In the interest of my own mental cataloging, and in no particular order (other than what my subconscious feeds into my finders), here’s what’s currently mincing around at the top of my most resonant musical compilations:

Blonde Redhead’s “Misery is a Butterfly”. While this is a relatively recent offering from these three melancholics, it’s proving to be an album of slow-burning attraction. There’s real craft and pain in them there tracks and is testament to a band growing in an interesting direction and improving as they go. Key elements include the lack of any real weak moments and the understated production. The late, great John Peel introduced me to Blonde Redhead a few years back (“In Particular” er, in particular) – a small nod back to the time when he did that on a weekly basis many moon ago, and the last time he would do so for me given how rarely I listed in in recent times.

Sugar’s “Beaster”. I’ve been listening to Bob Mould’s emoting and screaming strings for a long time. While never a huge Husker Du fan, they had their moments. Mould’s solo career proved a far richer musical vein for me though. Sugar came along as what was obviously a Bob-Mould-with-a-couple-of-mates-on-drums-and-bass and churned out a first album of fantastic pop songs in “Copper Blue”. It’s its darker, angrier sister, “Beaster” that’s stayed with me longer and deeper, however. Apparently recorded at exactly the same time as “Copper Blue”, but a very different beast (yes). Washes you with raw energy. Affronts your brain and demands that you crank up the volume notches. Chews at your leg pits with unwashed fangs.

The Cure “Faith”. The Cure really did become rubbish. And continued to be rubbish for quite a while. Are they still rubbish? I dunno, I’ve stopped listening. I stuck with them for some of the rubbish times, clearly confused and in denial (both them and me). They’d tease us though, wouldn’t they? and take a step back every now and then to make you think that there was some integrity lurking beneath the cat dander. However, looking (listening) back now, I think we was conned, innit. While I’ve still a soft spot for ‘Pornography” (don’t we all?), “Faith” is the one album that still holds a lot of appeal. It’s dated, certainly, and reeks of post-adolescent whinge, but of it’s kind (bleak, funeral, gothic, dated, post-adolescent whinge), there’re few finer. The genius is that there’s so little to the instrumentation; the less-is-more trick works wonders. (I should go back and listen to this again, actually, to see if I do actually bloody agree with myself now…)

The Clash’s “The Clash”. Just the perfect punk record, really. It’s fast, quick, loud, hastily-recorded, badly-performed, political at times, ridiculous at others, and sounds fantastic. “London Calling” remains excellent, in the most part, “Sandinista” was pretty woeful, and I lost interest after that really. (What were all the Elvis haircuts and flack jackets about for starters?) That first LP is something I still listen to repeatedly today when in the mood. It’s still alive (unlike the Pistols “Bollocks” which, as iconic as it was, sounds dull to me nowadays).

Shpongle’s “Are You Shpongled…?”. Simon Posford hasn’t put a musical foot wrong in my opinion. The two Hallucinogen albums are energised, trancy, electro nuggets and the best of their ilk. Posford’s Younger Brother compilation’s captivating. And all three Shpongle offerings are fantabulous. There’re hours and hours of uninspired, unintelligent, unintelligible dance/techno/electronic/ whateveryouwanttotermit music around, and Shpongle shows just what can be done at the other, high end. This stuff is edible and cerebrally lush. Each track is like an entrancing journey. The layering, rhythms, and orchestration are the work of musical genius. Feed me this man’s head.

Orbital’s “The Brown Album”. Orbital and The Orb introduced my younger git self to the more beepy styles of sound (made it much easier to remember band names when they were virtually the same too, of course) and the infinite journey into sampling. While Dr. Patterson has wandered in and out of listenability, Orbital produced a fine and solid body of work during their lifespan. Sure, they wavered here and there (“Mission Impossible” anyone?), but they remain a stalwart of my musical life. Orbital gigs have been some of the high peaks of my live music life too, despite the fact that they were basically two, balding, chubby blokes pressing buttons infront of large video screens. Their second, self-titled, but renamed-by-the-kids album isn’t perfect and does sound a bit “young” here n’ there, but it likely remains my fave. Ingredients include the anthemic, the dark, the catchy, and the downright strange sides of the brothers Hartnol. This is as good a collection of electronic noises as you’d want to bounce to. That “Input – Translation” thing at the end does yer nut in, mind.

Beck’s “Mutations”. Pretty much every Beck album has its moments, but there are stronger, weaker, and downright naff in among those moments. (And the less said about the Oh No My Girlfriend’s Gone And Left Me I’m Sad album, probably the better.) Same with the overall albums n’all. While it fades near the end, “Mutations” has a cohesion to it and is just so well crafted that it pays repeated visits. The one other album I would always recommend is “Stereopathetic Soul Manure”, by the wayward. While barely tolerable at times, it’s such a oddler journey into Mr. Hansen’s monged mind that it’s at least worth a run through. I share his obsession with ambiently-recorded snippets and strange background grunts, of course.

The Smiths’ “Hatful of Hollow”. I have some reservation including this partly because these days I would have a hard time sitting through the whole thing in one session, partly because the likes of “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” have been so overplayed, and partly because, let us face it in the back bedroom with a torch shaped like a giant bunch of daffodils, Mr. Morrissey can be a bit of a pratt at times. Having said that, “Hatful of Hollow” consists of classic Smiths, recorded in a nicely raw way. The brilliance of Johnny Marr twangs through pretty much throughout as both song scribe and guitar magician. In short, the album’s a reminder of why they were the indie darlings they were way back when.

Fugazi’s “The Argument”. Quite a journey Fugazi went on from their what the journos call “hardcore” roots. Their final (is it?) album sees them matured, still with a lot to say, and occasionally full throttle. A nice evolution, all told, and when they actually started to sing, surprisingly musical.

The Pixies’ “Trompe Le Monde”. I quite distinctly remember hearing this for the first time. The first four or five tracks race in to twat your lug’oles, and sprint off like sonic muggers. “Not messing around, are they?” was my comment at the time. It’s probably not a common opinion among Pixies fans (the purists will bore your molars out by raving about Surfa Rosa etc., no doubt), but “Trompe” is the complete album for me. Great songs and fascinating to dissect and listen in on the details. It has the proportions of Kim Deal and Blank Frank mixed just so.

Mahler’s 2nd: The Resurrection. OK, so not strictly an album, but if there’s a stronger musical painting depicting death and rebirth, bring the fooker on. I rarely get goosebumps at a live classical performance, but seeing the London Philharmonic perform that section when the crucifixion nails are hammered in did the trick. Pure musical power, this.

Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet. While were at it then…The whole ballet score is long. Long. But if you’ve the staying power, what a ride it can be. The genius is not only the ‘pop’ nature of some of those themes, but the reintroduction to them in different guises. All morphed and abused, but easily recognised. Classical monging, see? And who doesn’t like the dread-inducing Soviet majesty of that bit that used to appear in the Levis ads?

I could go on, but that’s what at the front of the brain for now. There are more recently heard albums that have potential to become true long players. Sort of despite myself, I’m increasingly drawn into the Artic Monkeys “Whatever You Say I Am That’s What I’m Not” – for a change, there is a basis for the hype. “You’re not from New York City, you’re from Rotherham”. Quite. Supergrass’ “Road to Rouen” is a keeper; and the one Hi Posi album us westerners are allowed to hear (thanks Nicknoz) has some stonking imagination and innovation stirred in.

Norman Day

Monday, December 4th, 2006

HeadfullofMcArtist

Latest birdw0rks missive, Just A Normal Day, abstractly-inspired by this:

A shot by the multi-talented Lorrie. Messing around with a few loops, primarily, including a ripped-off-and-out chunk of Lemon Jelly.

Completely unrelated, an advert in the Sunday Format:

Are you lonely, unhappy, a bit of a disaster socially? Perhaps not exactly an oil painting? Love Line can put you in touch with someone just like you! Eileen was a lonely 30-something school teacher when she joined Love Line. She had been thinkng seriously about joining for about a year. Then, one day she gave up thinking all together and joined. Barry had a job as a civil servant. He used to move around a lot and so found it difficult to form relationships. Then he saw a doctor who gave him a weekly prescription so now he doesn’t move around quite so much.
“As soon as we met, any awkwardness disappeared. Barry was hardly moving around at all. Straight away I felt as if I’d known him for a long time which is amazing, because after a few months, I had.”
Just 6 weeks later, Barry asked Eileen to marry him whilst they were out jogging together. Eileen didn’t much like the sound of that so they got married in a registry office, like normal people.
“I’ve always known I’d meet the perfect woman” says Barry, “And now that I’m married to Eileen, I don’t know what the hell will happen if I do.”

birdw0rk your bottom

Friday, December 1st, 2006

Another long-time-mean-to-get-around-to task has been getting a Cafe Press birdw0rks store up and running. Have finally done so in rudimentary form (as ever; one just doesn’t have the time to procrastinate on the procrastination these days; nah whohh ahh mean, innit) and the first simple birdw0rks-on-yer-back products can be bought from the birdw0rkstore.

Logo Tee Shirt         Who Are You Tee Shirt         Heed Tee Shirt

Will plan on doing summat propper loike with design n’ thah, but at least it’s up. There’s very little mark-up at present on prices, and owt bought by the punters will contribute small moolah to the usual fundraiser.